Mitch Hedberg quotes.

All 5 quotations by Mitch Hedberg in our collection.

“Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!”
— Mitch Hedberg
“I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.”
— Mitch Hedberg
“I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.”
— Mitch Hedberg
“I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.”
— Mitch Hedberg
“I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.”
— Mitch Hedberg

Building something with this content? MeBot answers your visitors' questions on your own site.